Good morning. #justmeandnana

I just had the most beautiful day with my Abide team and some amazing community partners that I consider friends. After our event I went to Costco to get stocked up on food, because these kids can EAT! I then drove home, unloaded the car, cleaned out my fridge and finally (outside of the drive home) I am sitting down for the first time today at 8pm. My cousin Darrell checked on me and I shared that I was good...today. He then said, "good, I'm happy...enjoy it." So often I'm running on autopilot. I feel so deeply and am often an "emotional idiot" (shout out to the late Def Poet Maggie Estep). But I run run run so much I often miss the opportunity to sit in the fullness of the moment. Today I'm going to take in the beauty of this day. I receive it. Today I'm grateful to God for keeping me whole and surrounding me with joy. *I'm taking in this red with a shot of screwball too. ;) #rest #resist #restore

Regram @sojoaction In the United States, the maternal mortality rate for Black women in 2020 was 3 times the rate for White women in the United States. Almost two-thirds of pregnancy-related deaths are preventable. We invite you to join us in honoring the 6th annual Black Maternal Health Week from April 11-17 by joining our webinar Uplifting Black Mamas, Uplifting Life, on Wednesday, April 12 at 3 pm ET, led by Cessilye Smith, Sandy Ovalle, and Lauren Reliford. Will you be there to show solidarity with Black mamas and birthing people and the lives they bring into this world? Register here https://bit.ly/sojoblackmaternalhealth #blackmaternalhealth

How is started... "Hey friend....I would really like to make a pretti graffiti piece featuring one of your quotes to gift you in honor/appreciation of our upcoming class at Abide... For the quote of yours, I was planning to use the one about pulling up by the roots....but if you have a different one you'd rather I use instead, please let me know. <3 Much appreciation and admiration as always." How it ended... This work of art by Ali Davis, Artist, Doula, Educator, all around Badass. Sharing this art with my words used to reclaim the toxicity of an influential yt woman in the birth world that blamed Black women for our mortality rates could not have come at a more perfect time. With Black Maternal Health Week coming 4/11-17, I want you to ask yourself two questions... "What seeds am I planting?" "What weeds am I uprooting?" Because, what use is there in planting new seeds when the weeds are still present choking the life out of new seedlings? Black women are tired Black women are DYING Black women deserve tenderness Black women deserve peace Black women should be believed Trust. Black. Women. Protect. Black. Women. #Blackmaternalhealth #Blackmamasmatter #prettigrafitti

Today is a new day and today I am sitting with the two items that remind me of the matriarchs of my family. Nana (coffee) and THE pound cake (granny). This morning I am sitting in stillness, enjoying the ease of the morning, remembering the beauty of these two humans and listening to the little distant sounds of my children as they wake up, all while preparing my mind for a pitch for 50k at 10:45 this morning. Today I'm grateful.

The last four months of 2022 made the entire hellish year absolutely worth it. The beginning of 2023 has proven to be everything that I dreamed of and more. Capacity. Sustainability. We talk a lot about capacity building and sustainability within the non-profit sector, and I am proud to say that I believe we have what it takes to not only continue reaching our goals but to also thrive in an environmemt that often forces people to just survive. I have the support of a solid Executive team and an incredible team of individuals who understand the long game of building a non-profit from the ground up. Without each member of the Abide staff I would not be writing this message today. We left 2022 smashing our goals and entered 2023 with a whole 1.1 Million dollar budget, a nearly full staff and an eye towards expansion. I cannot wait for the next big announcements. They are HUGE! In the meantime, go like @abide_women and @abide_birth and check out our 2022 annual report. (link in Abide's bio.) As always, thank you to our supporters for getting us here. And thank you to those individuals who have been holding a special place for me in your prayers. I love you.

This is what healing looks like. This is me resisting the urge to crop, critique, and speak negative thoughts over my expanding waistline. Quieting the negative thoughts and trauma that have taken residence in my mind over the years. Instead, I am choosing to speak life into me, healing my knees so that I can move more freely. At this moment I feel good. Movement is medicinal "Wanting to be wanted That's the loneliest thing Longing not to be lonely That's the loneliest thing" The Loneliest Thing by Cosma Joy

Sho right!

Social Impact Heroes: Why & How Cessilye R Smith Of Abide Women’s Health Services Is Helping To Change Our World An Interview With Maria Angelova "There is no such thing as balance. You will be stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction if balance is the goal. Life is full of ups and downs, like waves of the sea. Embrace the imbalance and rather set boundaries that lead to protection and greater satisfaction."... To read entire article click link in bio.

Reposted from @polisheddallas 🌺Bloom in Who You Are🌺 Join Polished Dallas for our next lunch on March 2! You are a treasure and a gift. God created you intentionally and beautifully with a specific calling uniquely designed only for you. And yet, as women it's easy to lose sight of this truth. The trauma of our past, the influence of media, the expectations of those around us can slowly distract and bury us. But sister, you are still there, underneath it all. Your unique gifts and way of moving through this world are part of God's redemptive purposes. As we get closer to our March luncheon, we invite you to bloom in who you are created to be and uncover what may have been hidden. During our talk with Cessilye on March 2nd, we will explore tools, wisdom, and resources that might just give you language to express your natural mode of operation, your identity, and how you are wired to blossom in the workplace and beyond. #polished #polishednetwork #polisheddallas #lakehighlands #dallaswomen #dallasentrepreneurs

"If I were to sum up the past five years, I would have to say that it has been a labor of love without boundaries... Not any more. It's me time. Time to heal." To read more see Patreon link in bio. Image Description: A picture of Cessilye wearing all Black and exuding unrestrained joy.

Reflecting on this incredible life journey.

I intended to dance to release the pain I'm holding in my body from the death of Tyre Nichols, but I couldn't find the movements. As my son watched me he, said "I have something mama". So I let him take this one. This is my eleven year old son Emmanuel's improv. This is him being free... For Tyre. #Blackboys #Blacksons #Blackboyjoy #tyrenichols #forTyre #grief #dance *Entire dance and lyrics on Patreon. Link in bio. *I do not own the rights to this song. Follow @kwabs the artist to be completely blessed.

This year there will be more saying no and a lot more dancing. No to anything that disturbs by peace. No to toxic people No to grind culture No to anything that stands between me and God No to being taken advantage of No to crossing boundaries No to free labor No...just No. Dancing?...absolutely.

Yesterday was a full day for me. I started the day with a clinic tour with @benttreebible followed by back to back to back meetings with these lovelies. My first 101 with our Board Chair, Trissi had me screaming about the future and great plans that are in store. I mean I looked at her like "How on earth did we get this much solid groundbreaking work done in 50 min?" LOL #whenBlackwomenmeet I had lunch dates with Cheryl one and Cheryl two. haha! These women are incredible humans with beautiful hearts and I can't believe that I get to do this work. I'm sitting in gratitude today because had it not been for @abide_women I would not know these phenomenal women. To both Cheryl's, I am so proud of you. God is doing some thangs, I just know it. Allow the Lord to work through you and remember that our steps are ordered. Btw, y'all see the Abide swag?

I want my children to remember me as a mother that loved life and enjoyed them. Not as someone always stressed and running from one thing to the next. In my old age I want to sit and laugh and reminisce not on how hard I worked, but how much life I lived. Although there is much planned for this year I am determined to keep my peace. I will say no even to my work if it begins to consume my life. This is my act of resistance of the capitalistic world we have been conditioned to operate in. I am more than what I do, more than what I produce. I am not here for anyone's consumption. I am choosing life today and every day. Life-Affirming means my life too. It means boundaries that create space for individuals to thrive in their career and in their day to day life. This my commitment to myself, my family and my team. Danielle Guillory Anderson who supported the team at Abide throughout the year last year. Your wisdom & grace poured out on our staff was a healing balm to those open to receiving it. Thank you for your generosity. Amber L. Wright, my executive coach. You helped me find myself. The woman outside of the leader, the CEO. Thank you so much for cracking my world wide open to the possibilities that exist when I recognize who I am and what can exist when I walk confidently in who God created me to be. You have helped me to gain confidence, to hold my head up, to find joy and to center my healing. Everyone benefits from my healing...I see it. I have tasted the fruit. Dr. Falami although our journey has just begun you have made a great impact in my life. Not only am I understanding what true self care is, I am creating a ritual around it. As one of my team members said I'm beginning to think of "Rest as a rhythm, not as a rescue:" - Phoebe Purvey It is taking some time but I am slowing integrating healthy life-giving self care rituals into my day to day, and I can see how this will impact my family especially as we move into a full year of full-time work, expansion of a clinic, purchasing land for the birth-center, husband working and in seminary a and the myriad of extra curricular activities & drs. visits for our children. *read rest in comments

A lot of things happened in 2022. *We started the process of getting our son assessed for ADHD and Autism. *I had a significant turnover at my job. *Got on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. * You all nominated me for a trip to Hilton Head and we won. What an amazing 15yrs anniversary trip for me and my husband. *My husband got a job that seemed to be created just for him. I'm so happy for him. *I got the support I needed at Abide and an incredible staff. *Realized we have another child going through some medical issues that are concerning. *My husband got into Seminary! *Another record breaking financial year at Abide. I could truly go on but this image pretty much sums up where I am today. In 2023 I'm riding hard with this man through parenting, toilet training, family trips(we are headed to Galveston today 1/1), leading an organization, expanding an organization, seminary and doctors visits. I realized that 2023 will require an unapologetic, intentional approach to self care/self care rituals in order to sustain us and I'm here for it. Don't mess with me. Here is what I felt on 12/31/22 Light, Free, Joy, Confident. And that's exactly what I carried into 2023. Nothing more.

".... I have been doing a lot of reflecting and active work on myself. Riding into the end of the year has been all about my health, and it has been wonderful.  I went through some trials this year that had me frozen. I was lost, confused and unaware of how to process the stress I was under. Even being a Public Voices Fellow with the OpEd Project didn't pull me out of my funk. The anxiety was too much and the tabs open in my brain seemed to not only be in abundance but they also bled into each other. It was like brain fog, mommy brain, and squirrel brain on steroids. This year is the year that I realized that not only was I overextended with work, but that I am also neurodivergent.  So I got on anti-depressants, then came anti-anxiety meds after a massive anxiety attack. I had a bit of turnover in my staff and I hired & promoted folk into executive level positions.  HOW ON EARTH WAS I DOING THIS WORK WITHOUT AN EXECUTIVE TEAM? I get asked this question often. People are continually astonished and all they can ask is HOW? The truth is...I wasn't. I mean, I was but I was breaking.  I was on the verge of total burnout, and had I not had individuals step up and realize that there needed to be an adjustment in the organization chart. Well, I might be committed or/and the organization I lead would be shut down.  I can now finally breathe.  *To read more click link in bio.

My people know who they are. We winning y'all.

A great big THANK YOU to everyone who took part in sending Ramon and I to Hilton Head, SC. Since we've been back our heads have been spinning. We are definitely back in the throws of parenting and career life. But I wanted to take a moment to thank you. A reel will come just as soon as I can sit still. Love to you all!

Favor ain't fair.

Thank you Rachel. God used you to speak to me and to remind me that I am fully known and loved by the Lord. I love you sis. It's so unusual, it's frightening You see right through the mess inside me And you call me out to pull me in You tell me I can start again And I don't need to keep on hiding I'm fully known and loved by You You won't let go no matter what I do And it's not one or the other It's hard truth and ridiculous grace To be known fully known and loved by You I'm fully known and loved by You It's so like You to keep pursuing It's so like me to go astray But You guard my heart with Your truth A kind of love that's bulletproof And I surrender to Your kindness, ooh I'm fully known and loved by You You won't let go no matter what I do And it's not one or the other It's hard truth and ridiculous grace To be known fully known and loved by You I'm fully known and loved by You How real, how wide How rich, how high is Your heart I cannot find the reasons why You give me so much How real, how wide How rich, how high is Your heart I cannot find the reasons why You give me so much I'm fully known and loved by You You won't let go no matter what I do And it's not one or the other It's hard truth and ridiculous grace To be known fully known and loved by You I'm fully known and loved by You It's so unusual, it's frightening I'm fully known and loved by You

I've been processing betrayal, hurt, lack of trust, and past trauma while also resisting the natural urge to beat myself up over simply being human. My coach helped me with my self confidence and then the rug was pulled from under me and I've been spiraling. This is my attempt at listening to my therapist who knows that movement is good for me. so if you see me post movement, this is part of my release. This is what helps me get through my grief. My knees are shot but my arms and upper body work so I'm committing to taking all of this pent-up anxiety and releasing it. How do you release?

#breathe

Amen and Amen! I can listen to Dr. Sarita Lyons all day! @drsaritalyons @regrann_app @jude3project

Just some improvisational worship. My therapist expressed that I need to take time to grieve. Been going through a lot lately and it's been heavy. My hope is to get through the grief and then work on forgiving.This is how I heal. My encouragement to you is to find ways to deal with whatever troubles come your way. Dance is my way of laying it all out. May your day be covered in peace. #dance #danceishealing #improvisation #noedits

#blackboyjoy

My baby girl is ready for 3rd grade. Thank you @moorelocsandbraids_forkids for putting such loving care into her hair.

PSA: #boundaries

Today after church I laid Eli down for a nap, filled the pool for the older two to play outside and got Ezra all set up with his Nintendo switch. Just as I proceeded to record myself doing a little movement therapy while sitting down, my little Eli walked out. The song God is Good by Johnathan McRenolds has been on repeat in my home and car and I just needed to get some movement out...some worship. This therapy session isn't pretty, choreographed or planned in any way. I simply picked up my son, let him know that I'll nurse him in a few and held him as I allowed my body to move as it wished. This is dance for me these days. This is therapy. To my therapist Tricia, thank you for reminding me of my first love and to find ways to move even if my body doesn't want to cooperate.

Never again.

Yesterday's Cessilye is not today's Cessilye. Today she knows her worth, says no without shame, holds her head up and confidently leads, understands her limits and never minimizes her strengths. Today's Cessilye does not shrink. Nope. Not anymore.

Word.

Today I chose joy.

Dancing was at one point my entire life. It is still very much so healing for me. I recorded this improvisational moment in silence and placed the song over it. Wow. #danceishealing #movement #therapy

I actually do cuss a little.

I'm learning to step into my worth. My worth requires me to center my health and wellbeing first. Not for the sake of others, but for me and my wholeness.

#mamasandaunties

Every morning I sit on my porch before the house wakes up, and take in the beautiful sounds of birds waking up for the day and greeting each other. I have made this a morning tradition and it is giving me life. Much like @wirelesshogan streams his daily viewing of the sunrise, I may stream my daily time with the birds. I'm normally up anywhere between 5:45-6:30 listening. Sometimes its only for 15 minutes but I will get this time in. I hope to live stream to share this beauty but there are times I won't. I'm writing to encourage you to find the beauty in life and hold on to it. It's so worth it.

On April 1st something phenomenal happened. @loswhit and @leeannmiller surprised me in a way that I cannot fully comprehend. I want to thank every person who nominated me. I especially want to give a huge shout out to Destiny with @newwavefeminists for getting the ball rolling. As I scrolled social I saw myself tagged and then it never stopped. The love and affirming words spoken over my life was way more that I could take in. It truly was amazing and had I not been chosen, my heart would be just as full as it is right now. I could never thank each of you enough. In fact, I know that many spoke of my work with @abide_women. Well, the reality is that although I am the visionary behind this organization, there is no way that I could do this work on my own. I'm so grateful for my team and for the many people who have encouraged me over the years, and I am eternally grateful to God for holding the pieces together when there are times I felt I was falling apart. I am truly blown away and incredibly thankful for your love.

Many things happened in 2021. I moved out of the city and bought a house...our forever home. It was the greatest decision for our family. Abide had it's grand opening and became an accredited JJway Easy Access Clinic. I was interviewed by Janai Norman and Abide made national news on ABC Nightline. My family had consistent illnesses from August until December. The Dallas Morning News honored my story and Abide was granted great feature. My youngest son was hospitalized for eight days but is now doing better than we ever hoped for. My faith in the goodness of people has been restored. I was selected to be part of an interfaith cohort that is rocking my world in a beautiful way. #sojourners I accrued 50k of medical debt due to being uninsured....all from my sons hospitalization. I have learned that I am harder on myself and I need to give myself grace. I must also squash fear and be more confident in myself and my decisions. I'm a great leader...now believe it and stand firm in it. I know I could go on, but I wanted to type up a few things and share that through all of the highs and lows of 2021, I am walking into 2022 with a firm commitment towards cherishing the moments that you see here...the moments that matter. I truly hope that you do the same. #Blackboyjoy #family

Breathe.

;)

Reposted from @beatsbydre You love Black culture, but do you love the people? #blacklivesmatter

Rest Resist Restore Cessilye@abidewomen.org #abidewomen #castthevisionmakeitplain #Blackmaternalhealth #systemicchange #thrivingBIPOC #morethanabirthcenter #BlackLivesMatter

Rest Resist Restore Cessilye@abidewomen.org #abidewomen #Blackmaternalhealth #castthevisionmakeitplain #systemicchange #southdallas

This piece by @hoodinididit needs to be seen by everyone. Pass it on.

Hello friends, I woke up this morning with a message on my heart. As you consider becoming a monthly donor please meditate on these words and know that you are not small, each and every one of you can help make Abide a nationally recognized organization. To contribute towards our efforts please see link in bio. #maternaljustice #maternalhealth #racialjustice #easyaccessclinic #birthcenter #BlackMamasMatter #BlackMidwivesMatter #centerBlackWomen #centerBlackvoices #BlackLivesMatter

My son got cozy on my lap and proceeded to share a video he made. He doesn't have a YouTube Channel, but he pretends that he does. So as you can imagine, I expected one of his normal videos talking about his day or acting out something random with of course a dose of silliness. ⁣ ⁣ But no.⁣ ⁣ He pressed play and I began to weep. The full weight of this responsibility as a mother was playing back at me. The reality of just how much my life shapes the minds of these beautiful blessings overwhelmed me. ⁣ ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂. ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗲. ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘂𝘀.⁣ ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. ⁣ ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲.⁣ ⁣ I'm processing the gravity of his words and what they mean for future generations. I'm processing the fact that we are creating something entirely new with @abide_women. ⁣ ⁣ That 𝗻𝗲𝘄 is something as simple as humanizing children and welcoming them into the work environment. ⁣ That something 𝗻𝗲𝘄 is having compassion, while understanding our lived experiences as women who work, raise children and care for others. ⁣ That something 𝗻𝗲𝘄 is collective care that places our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing above work responsibilities. ⁣ That something 𝗻𝗲𝘄 is taking a moment to stop and absorb just how much our lives have worth 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄 and for generations to come.⁣ ⁣ The things is...it shouldn't be new. But I'm thankful that people are waking up to it. I'm thankful to have a son that sees the beauty in God's creation and has a deep understanding of just how precious life is. I'm thankful for these sweet moments that remind me that I'm seen by who matters most. ⁣ ⁣ They see you⁣ They see me⁣ They see us⁣ ⁣ and⁣ ⁣ 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹.⁣ ⁣

#Repost @kimberlylatricejones @download.ins --- #Repost @djonesmedia ・・・ On Saturday May 30th, I felt compelled to go out and serve the community in some way. I decided to use my art to try and explain the events that were currently impacting our lives. On day two, Sunday the 31st, I activated my dear friend author Kimberly Jones to tag along and conduct interviews. During a moment of downtime I captured these powerful words from her and felt the world couldn’t wait for the full length documentary, they needed to hear them now. #georgefloyd #nojusticenopeace #blacklivesmatter #weneeddiversebooks #tulsamassacre #rosewoodmassacre #atlantariots #ferguson #lariots #tupac #davidjonesmedia #authorkimberlyjones #imnotdyingwithyoutonight #djm #davidjonesmedia #jonesfactor

I'm exhausted.⁣ ⁣ Exhausted from the assault to my eyes and ears.⁣ ⁣ Exhausted from trying to prove that Black Lives DO in fact matter.⁣ ⁣ Exhausted from the weight of this pandemic on Black lives...⁣ ⁣ Black mothers...⁣ Black fathers...⁣ Black sons...⁣ Black daughters...⁣ ⁣ Exhausted from the triggers.⁣ ⁣ Exhausted from my own thoughts. ⁣ ⁣ I'm calling in and I don't know when I will return. Will it be when I've consumed enough peace to pad the trauma that awaits me upon re-entry? ⁣ Who am I kidding. ⁣ ⁣ The trauma will seep through the cushion and penetrate my soul over again. ⁣ ⁣ I'll still call in.⁣ ⁣ I will find peace in the innocence of my children. Comfort in the arms of my lover and hope in the one who's justice will reign down in an unimaginable way.⁣ ⁣ I'm calling in.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ #blacklivesmatter⁣ #callinblack⁣ #radicalselfcare⁣ #resist⁣ ⁣ ⁣

Reposted from @redletterxians “Black People Are Tired” was authored in the wake of #AhmaudArbery’s death. Yet souls like #BreonnaTaylor keep being stolen from us. Here is a video honoring lives ended in a world still infected by violent racism. May they rest in power. May we fight for justice. Thank you @lisasharper @britneywinnlee @elainabueno & @commonhymnal for all your help. - #regrann

"...I know, that I had to borrow your language because mines was stolen... But you can't expect ME to speak your history holy while mines is BROKEN these words are SPOKEN by someone who was simply fed up with the eurocentric ideals of this season and the reason I speak a composite version of your language is because mines was raped away along with my history I speak broken English so the profusing gashes can remind us that our current state is not a mystery I'm so tired..." -Jamila Lyiscott

I decided to be vulnerable and post this incredibly raw and ugly improv. The dancer in me would have never EVER posted something like this in the past but today I said this is me today after not dancing in over a year. This is me today after giving up my first love after countless injuries. This is me today in the midst of chest pain from anxiety and fear of the unknown. This is me today releasing and not caring what I look like to others. This is me being transparent. #thresholdanew #icantbreathe #uglybeauty Thank you @bellhouseart for this virtual dance project.

About Ekemini...my sister

My take on the treatment of Ekemini Uwan and how it has impacted me.